I wish I knew, I wish I were confident about Jane. I wish I were positive that she liked me as much as I like her (of course she couldn't). She was bitchy today, more than ever. God, it kills me when she's like that. Christ! I'll start at the fucking beginning of the whole goddam day.

First in football practice my knee was bothering me from scrimmage yesterday and near the end of practice I went over and got some greasy shit called Red Hot from a manager to put on it. I rubbed it on liberally and soon it began to sting like hell. Jesus, it burned! Then I pulled up my pants and went over to where Coach DeCenzo was talking to the whole squad. Eck and Comstock were at the outside of the group and I started talking to them. Suddenly DeCenzo yells for the three guys talking to run four laps right now. Four laps. One mile. One long fucking mile. We started. My knee was killing me. We made it, though.

After practice Eck and me went down to Frost's and had cokes and then over to the high school to meet Jane and get our schedules. Then over to Kathy's where Danny was. Comstock came over too. The whole time Jane was bitchy to me, flirting with the other guys. God.

Then I had to mow the damn lawn before supper. I didn't even try to get out of it because of my knee. Tonight I find out from Jane that she is having a date with Jim Millegan Saturday night before the party the next week at Danny's that I'm taking her to. And I found out from Danny that Warner is taking her to Ferguson's party. Warner, for Chrissakes! The end is near. I can feel it coming and I can't take it. I can't. No. I've felt this way before and I could be wrong now. Hope so.