Well, new year and new start. Like hell. Same old shit.

Went to the dance at the Presbyterian church. Showed Carol where the hell she stood. I saw her talking to Shelly Graff and Carber. Shit! She's gonna get all those girls mad at me because I'm giving her the cold shoulder. Boy, Carber better not say anything to me about it. Bitch. She and Georgia Meeks warned Carol about me being a make-out fiend. Me! Mr. Chicken-shit! God, it makes me so fuckin mad. Carol, Stella & somebody else came up to me on a 3 queens dance & I chose Stella. Hah. I danced with Carol only once & she didn't ask me on any ladies' choices. I think I got it knocked.

Dolores wasn't there. Ken Moore felt pretty low. He's really crazy about her. I got to keep this a secret. I must! Danny almost guessed it & so did Comstock. In fact they did guess it but I convinced them otherwise. Boy, I get such a charge out of seeing her or exchanging a few words. Listen:

1. Dolores, Kathy Cadenza & somebody walked by the study hall door in which I was (the study hall, not the door) and they saw me and they all waved. I waved back and I felt a thrill at the sight of her.

2. I was standing in the hall at noon with Jim Gardner or someone when I saw her taking her books to her homeroom. I walked over to head her off. I leaned on the doorjamb with my hand, blocking her way with my arm coming just up to her neck. She flashed a short smile, ducked under and said, "Carol's back there." Crap.

3. After the Y-Teen meeting last night ( I was there with Gustafson & Comstock) she was running around with the crowd - Anne Prince, Karen Clegg, Carol Steinmetz and her - Me and Eck and Jim Halliday fucked around with them. Oh man, she was cute. God, so cute! Those legs above the white sox under the slim orange skirt. God!

Oh Jesus, this really is something. It seems so strange being so crazy about somebody I've never dated & who I don't even plan to date, except of course in the long-range future.